Top O' the Mornin'

By Terry Maddox
Published on Friday, September 3, 2010 12:23 AM CDT

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Thought while shaving: Women should have pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.

* * *

Wanna have some fun and maybe win some money? If so, enter the Krewe of Selene’s Poker Run this Sunday.

Sign-up takes place from 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. at The Dock. The entry fee is $60 per hand, and the best hand at the end of the run wins $2,000. Other prizes will also be awarded.

Sign up today online at kreweofselene.net. And good luck.

* * *

A guy was getting ready to tee off on the first hole when Bill approached and asked if he could join him. The first said that he usually played alone, but agreed to the twosome. They were even after the first two holes.

Bill said, “We’re about evenly matched, how about playing for five bucks a hole?” The first guy said that he wasn’t much for betting, but agreed to the terms. Bill won the remaining 16 holes with ease.

As they were walking off number 18, Bill was busy counting his $80. He confessed that he had a two handicap at a neighboring course and liked to pick on suckers. The first fellow revealed that he was the parish priest.

Bill was flustered and apologetic, offering to return the money. The priest said, “You won fair and square and I was foolish to bet with you. You keep your winnings.”

Bill said, “Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?”

The priest said, “Well, you could come to mass on Sunday and make a donation. And, if you bring your mother and father along, I’ll marry them”

* * *

It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.

—Darrin Weinberg

Terry Maddox is the publisher of St. Tammany News.

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